THE DO'S AND DON'TS OF ONLINE DATING FIRST DATES

Your guide to getting the first date right

You’ve gone through the entire process of setting up your profile, saying yes, saying no, getting rejected, rejecting someone else, and now you’ve finally started chatting to a potential match.

The chats have been fun, you’ve gotten to know each other pretty well and now you’re ready to meet. In real life. Face to face. Nervous much? Sure you are! 

Up until the first date was mentioned, you’ve been sitting in tracksuits on your couch or even in bed, now suddenly you have to go out, meet the other person face to face and go public.

While this is a really big step in the process, it’s also a bit stressful. But don’t worry, we’ve got a great list of dos and don’ts to follow when you’re getting ready for your first date once you’ve met someone through online dating.

• Location, location, location

If you want to play it safe, choose a location where you feel comfortable and safe. Always make sure it’s a public place, that will enhance the security factor. If you can, find a table where you’re able to have an actual conversation and won’t have to shout at each other when the place gets too crowded.

Even better, try to find a spot inside our outside where you’ll be able to hold hands if you feel like you’re ready for that move.

Don’t go to the movies where you’ll end up spending time together, but you won’t be able to have a conversation. The idea behind the date is that you get to chat to each other in real life. If you want to do an activity rather than just meet up for a drink or something to eat, make sure it’s an activity where you’ll still be able to communicate through conversation and get to know each other better.

• Keep the conversation going

You’ve obviously chatted online and have gotten to know each other pretty well. If you haven’t, don’t worry about it as you’ll have an opportunity to ask questions on your first date. 

Don’t overwhelm the other person with too many questions, give them the opportunity to ask you questions as well and keep the conversation going by bringing everyday topics into the conversation.

If you have chatted online and got to know each other pretty well, pretend as if it’s not your first date. Don’t repeat any questions you’ve already asked online, but rather expand on the answers. If there was an answer you found interesting, ask the other person about it. 

It could lead to an easy-going conversation that will make both of you feel comfortable. And as we all know, if you’re comfortable you’re going to have a better time and show a lot more of your personality.

• Leave your friends at home

Although your friends will probably make it more comfortable for you, doing the group date thing on a first date is not the best decision.

You won’t be able to spend some valuable time alone so that you can chat to each other and get to know each other better. You’ll probably end up being interrogated by his/her friends and next thing you know you would have answered the same questions for a few hours straight.

Meeting someone for the first date after chatting or meeting through an online dating app can be daunting, so why add the pressure of meeting more people at the same date and then face all their questions as well.

If you’re going to have a shot at being a couple, you have to give each other a chance to spend time alone without your friends or family members being there. That way you’ll get to discuss things and really get to know each other and not simply the versions of yourselves that your friends or family know.

• It’s not a job interview

Remind yourself that it’s a first date and not a first job interview. You’re not there to sell yourself, you’re there to see if the other person is a match for you. So, ask questions that are calculated to find out more about them, and if they answer try to add to the conversation and not just sit there and nod in agreement.

You’re not forced to sit there and sell your personality, just be yourself and you’ll soon get an idea of where this date is going and if you’d like to see more of the other person.

The first date after meeting online is a great way to have fun because you can always make jokes about your own online dating experiences. There must be some great stories to share between the two of you and it will also be a nice ice breaker.

• Ethical stalking

Before you go on the first date, make sure you do some stalking. No, not the weird kind of stalking where you hide behind a bush and follow the other person as they make their way to the office, but rather the more relaxed and socially acceptable ethical kind of stalking.

You know, the usual online searching for profiles, photos and so on. Thanks to social media, stalking has become easy and in today’s world where dangers are disguised as nice people, it’s a must before you go on a date.

Have a little snoop, but don’t ever, and this is super important, don’t ever give yourself away. Be careful not to mention your ethical stalking by admitting to seeing the photos of that wonderful trip to Spain on their social media pages.

Life can be hard and sometimes it can mean a lot of loneliness. Don’t wait around for that feeling of despair to hit, try online dating and see where it takes you. If it only leads to platonic conversations and good meals at fun restaurants, then that’s OK as well.

But if it leads to meeting each other for a first date after meeting online and it turns out to be a whole lot of fun, then go with it.