IS ONLINE DATING WORTH THE TIME?
Trying to find a real connection in the digital age tends to stir up a lot of anxiety and doubt. After maybe hearing stories of your friends bad dates and bad experiences in the online dating world, it is reasonable to approach dating apps with caution or even try to avoid them. But just like everything in the world, there are also plenty of benefits that comes with online dating.
I think the bigger question that we all are asking is, is online dating worth it? Does online dating actually work? Just like all love matters, online dating has its pros and cons.
Licensed marriage and family therapist and relationship expert Lisa Marie Bobby, Ph.D., of Growing Self Counselling and Coaching, might have given us the answer. ”While online dating has some potential for pitfalls compared to meeting people in real life, the volume of possibilities is much higher," says Bobby. "That increases the chances that you'll meet someone you're truly compatible with."
So let's put away the anxiety mosquito, as we discuss how online dating is worth it.
What Research Says About Dating Apps
Online dating has been on the rise globally, with people around the world trying to find a connection. A Pew Research Center study that was conducted in October 2019 in America, found that 30 percent of the population have used online dating. Which is a significant increase since 2013, when only 11 percent of the population was making use of an online dating site. Of that 30 percent, 12 percent have gotten married or has been in a committed relationship with someone they met through online dating.
Going back to the question of is online dating worth it, the study has proved that online dating is definitely a practical way to date. According to the study, roughly 60 percent of participants have had positive experiences with dating platforms. And it is not just finding a potential spouse but also casual friendships. The majority of participants in the study found it relatively easy to connect and meet compatible partners in terms of those they found attractive or with whom they shared hobbies and interests.
Get The Most Out Of Your Online Dating Experience
There are some of us who usually just jump right onto the online dating train and trying to make connections as soon as we can, but do you know what you want? Bobby recommends doing some soul-searching of your own before you download an app or two and start creating your profile. It is important to know what you want out of a partner or a relationship before starting to match with other people.
"Spend time and energy getting clear about who you are and what you really want in a relationship, and think about who your ideal partner is," says Bobby. "Also, think about what your ideal partner is seeking in a prospective mate and how you can connect with them authentically."
Another way to ensure you get the most out of your online dating journey is to first do some research on the various of dating apps available and see what each one has in store. socialhubbs.com for instance provides a free platform with a variety of chats hubs that suits various of different needs. And they don’t leave you just there. With the Socialhubbs blog, they bring you all the steps, tips, tricks and guides to help you improve your online dating experience.
After you have identified the perfect online dating site/app, it is time to spend some time and energy on your profile. Your profile is one of the most important things on the site, and for you to ensure a match. Your profile is your front face, it is the first thing the person sees and the first description he or she will get. It is important to choose pictures and prompts that show who you are, what you like, and how you present yourself to the world.
After everything is set up, don't expect to meet "the one" right away. You must be prepared to spend a significant amount of time vetting potential partners. But we all know we don’t have all the time in the world to swipe through miss matches, so try and find a way to cut the list shorter faster. "Develop a process to help you cut through the fluff and get to know who someone really is as quickly as possible. A five-minute call will often tell you all you need to know."
What To Avoid On Dating Apps
Most of the time the cause of negative experiences are due to expectations that don’t match up with reality. We are all human, and we all want to look better in certain aspects. As Bobby says, online dating requires some "marketing savvy" and the ability to, in essence, sell yourself online. However that doesn’t mean sacrificing the truth and the real you for a “better” version.
"Never misrepresent yourself or try to appear as something you're not. You might get online interactions, but they'll quickly fizzle when it becomes apparent that you are different than what your potential partner was expecting." If you're looking for a truly meaningful relationship, concealing aspects of yourself that you're afraid others won't like or accept on your profile is counterproductive. Be authentic, and you'll attract those with similar values.
But on the other hand, avoid falling victim to someone you suspect is being deceitful. When you notice red flags, that is your sign to get out. "When you are evaluating potential partners, do not make the mistake of prioritising 'chemistry' over character," says Bobby.
What’s Your Chances For Meeting "The One" Online?
We all have the chance to finding a healthy relationship whether you're meeting people in person or online. However the two methods does differ. But there are positives to meeting someone online. Usually when two people meet in person, it's because they already have something in common such as mutual friends or hobbies. "This natural convergence of circumstances, relationships, or interests is a strength for a new relationship," says Bobby. "They provide a budding couple with more opportunities for authentic connection as well as more social pressure to treat each other decently, even if it's not ultimately a good match."
However, that doesn’t mean that online dating can’t provide the same chances of success. Look at it this way. Everyone on a dating site is (presumably) available, which increases your opportunities to put yourself out there and find a good match. But when you for instance go to a social event and try to hopefully find someone there to connect with, the pool of people who are actually single are much smaller, and you don’t really know who they are.
"Singles seeking relationships are looking to connect online," says Bobby. "That reality means that it's highly likely of finding 'the one' because they're in the same place, also looking for you!" If you're straightforward about what you want, it increases your chances of finding a good partner even more.
No matter your intentions, whether you are looking to find a new bff, or a new coffee buddy, wing man, good time, or a long time, there seems to be something for everyone when it comes to dating online. Don’t be scared to put yourself out there. Try new thing and be upfront with what you like and what you want in your journey. And just be hopeful, who knows, maybe your real match is swiping right at this moment.