ONLINE DATING TIPS FROM WOMEN WHO MET THEIR SPOUSES ON DATING APPS
Here are some incredible online dating tips from woman who met their spouses on dating apps.
In a perfect world your soulmate would magically one day appear out of the blue saving you from getting hit by a truck as you struggle to free your Jimmy Choo high heal that got stuck in a sewer grate. Or prince charming would come riding in on a white horse on a farm as you continue to make eye contact. Well, unfortunately we call that fairytales.
In real life it is a bit more of a struggle to find a partner. We can say that finding a partner out in the wild is as rare as finding Jimmy Choo’s on sale. That is why so many people are connecting via online dating apps. And according to a Stanford University study, online dating is the number one way couples meet.
However navigating your way on a dating site can be overwhelming and frustrating to say the least. Especially when you find yourself in a situation where you don’t know where the connection is heading. Several women shared their experience and tips online after successfully finding a husband through online dating apps. Their wisdom, below.
Look for someone who makes it convenient for you
Amy D (35) from New York said that you should wait for someone who goes out of the way just for you.
“For instance, for our first date, Joey made sure to pick a place near my apartment and at a time that made it easy for me. I was living on the Upper East Side at the time, and he lived all the way down in Hell’s Kitchen (which is New York for far). It showed me that he was interested in me and my life—and it felt so different from the standard ‘Hey, let’s meet up’ mentality that you usually find on dating apps—which led to four and a half years of marriage and a 19-month-old son.”
Cut them off if they are not texting you back
No one enjoys wasting time on someone who doesn’t even make the effort to reply to one of your messages. Carra T (29) from Los Angeles, got a divorce after marrying pretty young and decided to get back on the online dating wagon where she learned it is key to not let anyone waste your time. That means cutting off the people who doesn’t even take the time to read and reply your message.
“I’m divorced—after marrying pretty young—so it was mildly horrifying to try out dating apps for the first time in my late 20s. But I learned from that first marriage that I didn’t want to waste time on anyone who didn’t reach out often enough. I think going on dates is great, and you should go on dates if you’re interested in the person you’re messaging with, but if they don’t message you back in a timely way, just move on. Anyone who really wants to get to know you will make that obvious.”
Kick your type to the curb
Megan K from Kentucky advised single people to keep an open mind especially when it comes to a ‘type’.
“When I met my now-husband, I was swiping right on all the ultra-masculine, body builder types because, physically, that’s what I was into at the moment. You might think you’re only attracted to blonde guys with hair like Thor or that anyone shorter than 5'6" is out of the question. But my husband’s smile in his profile picture seemed so genuine and kind and it totally drew me in, so I gave him a chance and I’m so glad I did! We just got married in November.”
Put the apps down while you’re on a date with someone
We can all agree that there is nothing as annoying and frustrating when your on a date with someone who keep checking their phone every 5 min and even having full on conversations with someone else on the phone while they are suppose to engage in a conversation with you. Amanda B from Dallas said,
“In order to give a first date—or any date, really—a chance to blossom and grow into something real and meaningful, you need to turn off notifications on your dating apps so that you have no distractions while you’re with someone. You can’t be fully present on a date with one person while getting a new message from someone else.”
Go for the “normal” photo guy who matches his bio
Lauren N (31) From California emphasised on the importance of getting to know someone for who they really are and not just for the good profile they have set up. “It’s so important to try to figure out who a person is instead of just focusing on someone because their picture would look great on the cover of GQ. My now-husband’s photos were very normal and not overdone like plenty others are. Instead of modeling headshots, he had regular pictures of him and his dogs (an apparent sign of trustworthiness) and a basic kitchen selfie. His bio was normal too; he doesn’t work out a crazy amount or go adventure hiking every single weekend. He eats pizza and drinks whiskey. I was sold!”
Don’t shy away from cultural differences
It can be scary to try and build a connection with someone with a different culture, and yes there is a lot to take in consideration such as your morals, but who said that it cannot work? Dia M. (36) from New Jersey advised people to stay open to what makes us different and to not shy away from someone who is different.
“After four years of dating, three years or marriage and now with a baby on the way, I can say I’m glad I took a chance with online dating and with someone very different from myself. I went into it with an attitude of being open to and accepting of those differences, which weren’t small considering my family and I are from Rizal, a province just outside Manila in the Philippines, and Mike is from a big Italian family in New Jersey. But staying open to what made us different and teaching each other about our respective traditions and customs actually made us much closer than I anticipated.”
Make a list of all the things you’re looking for in a relationship
Yes it is important that your relationship needs are met as well. According to Alex P (29), it is important for you to know what you want out of a relationship.
“You should know the answer to the ‘What are you looking for?’ question. I would never be the one to ask it and actually always thought it was a stupid question, but when my now-husband asked me that on Bumble after we had already been talking for a little while, he seemed like a really honest and straightforward guy (he is!), so I did tell him the truth that I was looking for someone serious about the future. Turned out, that was the answer he was looking for! So don’t be afraid to be honest and weed out the guys who are not serious—if that’s what you want. We got engaged after nine months and then married nine months after that and have been married for a little over a year.”
Make sure your core values are clear up front
Alexandra V (28) from California said,
“I was a little reluctant to try app-based dating and didn’t jump on the bandwagon till later in the game because my faith is very important to me and I didn’t know how I was going to filter out men who didn’t share that core value. I met Franz after two weeks of being on Bumble, and we decided to meet up for tacos after only talking on the app for a few hours because we were both very up front about our faith being a huge part of our lives. The advice I would give my fellow online daters is to make sure you are clear and honest about your big deal breakers, and to never sacrifice your core values and beliefs for anyone. Franz and I dated for almost three years after that, then got married just last month! We now live together with our cats, Tuna and Wasabi.”
Save the interesting conversation points for real-life dates
No one likes arriving at the date which you both have been talking about for a while, without anything to actually talk about.
Megan (27) from New York explained,
“My biggest successes with actual dates that I met on apps came by moving things from my phone into real life as soon as possible. Exchange a few messages to be sure you feel safe and are interested, but then come up with a plan to get to know each other in person quickly. A few times I spent weeks messaging or texting with someone I hadn’t met, and then by the time we did meet up, it felt like we had done all the getting-to-know-you questions online, and it inevitably fell flat. Something that immediately attracted me to my fiancé was that, after a couple of messages, he asked me out right away with a specific place and time. His decisiveness and clear intentions were refreshing. People can be so one-dimensional on apps. Giving someone the benefit of seeing the full picture in person is the best way to set yourself up for success.”